September 23, 2011

Walking with a ghost

Since I last wrote, I have had two weigh ins which have brought my total weight loss to 18lbs since late August. I’ve been pleasantly surprised with my results and the length of time it’s taken me to get here.

When I first started this diet, I was so scared that I wasn’t going to be able to follow through; it all seemed so heavy and so unattainable. It was like I was drowning in the middle of the ocean, but I was supposed to be on dry land. It can get SO discouraging when you’re so far away from your goal that you just can’t see the finish line. It’s hard, it sucks and giving up and eating an entire pizza sounds really good most of the time.

What’s important is realizing WHY I’m doing it in the first place. I want this so badly that I just can’t cheat. I can’t give up. I can’t stop. I have such a hard time living in the now, I’m always weeks or months ahead of myself.  Instead of being proud that I’ve lost as much weight as I have, I ask myself why I haven’t lost more. One of the lessons that I need to learn is to not being so damn hard on myself. To really congratulate myself on what I have overcome and not be so overwhelmed with the struggle I have ahead of me.

I’ve just had one of those weeks where I see everything with such a shade of gray over it. I’ve been having a hard time remaining positive and I’ve not pushed myself very hard at all. I expect more out of myself because I know what I’m capable of. I just need to really step it up and follow through. I need to take one day at a time and I need to be proud of what I’ve achieved so far.

First Zumba class tomorrow.. I’m so. Excited.

**I’ve decided that I’m going to start posting my stats every week**